決定置頂這篇文章以時時提醒自己，
以免被心魔纏繞而不知清醒。

－

結果我還是在情緒極度不好的深夜重新打開了電腦，
而不是躺平乖乖睡我的覺。
我不忍睡覺，不想睡覺，撐著睡意還硬要起來打電腦，
而且我想罵髒話，罵無濟於事的髒話，
然後情緒再回覆平靜，繼續take action.

我找到夢想了，
我想再過幾年就可以變成理想（一個史上最大的微笑）

我知道很多人將會笑我蠢，但我知道，
這是一條我最喜歡的路了！
而且我相信這是噁爛黑暗的大人世界裡，
一個比較溫暖和光明的部分。

且看世事如何變化吧！
我將會追隨心裡最深處的聲音。

我又到臨界點了。

很好，還不錯，這次我幾乎可以數算自己的退化史，
所以算是有意識的崩潰吧呵呵。
繼昨天的精神與身體枯竭，
今天是修養跟脾氣的大爆炸。

我實在忍不了什麼，也不想還很peace的去轉念，
因為幹，我就是他媽不爽，就是想要情緒抒發，
沒有心情再忍什麼鳥。

（說話可能越來越難聽，慎入）

Yes, I know, most of the time I would be alone, and be laughed at as a fool.


It's hard to talk about what I'm doing and striving for, cuz even myself don't clearly understand EVERY detail, and EVERYTHING what I'm gonna do. 

It's big. It's about the world. It's complicated. It's not easy to tell the truth if you're not close enough.  And it'll take me a lot of time and effort to reach it, but I know it definitely worth it! 

I'm gonna try my best for it for a simple reason : no matter it end up successfully or not, it'll always deserved a good try!   

I'm not genius, even not smart as lots of people; I'm not rich, and am just a poor student who even not financially independent; I don't have any power ,yes, obviously as you can see; I'm not a adult YET, and don't know how the fucking realistic should be,

BUT, I'm still going to try, try my hard and try my best!

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I'm gonna ignore your hopeless words.
You don't understand how hard we youth would be, if we live on this world without any hope and passion. That'll be a life full of disaster.


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shit! it's 11 p.m over.
Good night.